Category: Diary Entries
Dual, Double Dooms & Despair
My two companions of 15 and 10 years, respectively, are both, over the course of the last month, now in possession of their rainbow tickets, which is an incredibly banal euphemism a la ‘crossing the rainbow bridge’. Dana is dying of gut-biome incompetency (stage three, eta two years). Daka is dying of chronic kidney disease […]
Memo: Karmic Ripples
Song of Meaning of The Moment: Then the angels sang the saddest tune, of potential unmet and promise unknown, and in their melancholy verses, so different and paradoxically, all the same, “What is there, in that empty space unknown, where you return to where once you left to become the one known as ‘you’?” There […]
cPTSD and me
Most people jump to the conclusion I had/have PTSD. In fact, I have cPTSD. For reference, all but seven years of my life are trauma, and I’m pretty sure the professionals would say I’m wrong about those seven years, too. This is what ‘toxic stress’ and ‘chronic pain’ and ‘persistent anxiety’ and ‘severe depression’ means… that’s what it IS. That’s also before you add on the every […]
For the record….
I am in pain every day, all day long. On a scale begininng at one (1) and continuing to ten (10), and inclusive of all current treatments, prescriptions, and future treatment plans as currently scheduled, my pain, every day is: never lower than a three (3) usually between four (4) and seven (7) depending on […]
2022 is not a perfect number
The thing about objectivity is the definition asserts a view that no human alive has ever validated a view that exists ‘outside’ our experience a view that occurs ‘without’ our knowing a view that belongs to some imponderable being that cannot be known to have lived I have lived my entire life under the burden […]
Handing out hits for free… status quo.
Analysis & Design 101: The Only Guideline You Will Ever Need Question #1: What problem are you attempting to solve? Question #2: Why is it a problem, and what data supports? Question #3: Which (of a continnuum of solutions) mitigates or solves the problem and how? Question #4: How will we prove the problem is […]
My next appointment is on the 16th, mostly a follow up on the new RX and how it’s doing. Then, the annual mammogram, the follow-up with physiatry on the lumbar situation, and finally, on the 27th, my “new patient” appointment where options are discussed and treatment plan is undertaken for this rent-free bastard living in […]