autotelic, autistic, assonance-hole©.

Dear Internet, I love you

Just sayin’; I spent about an hour and a half today scanning goodness only knows how many options to come up with the perfect combination of them to be my daughter’s birthday present (04-16). It is just silly how much I enjoy shopping for her and how much I enjoy thinking about her delight and enjoyment of what is going to be soon heading her way.

I suppose it’s odd to enjoy more the enjoyment of others than my own, but I swear, I hardly go out of my way to “indulge” myself (just never think that way in relation to myself) and I’ll damn near run myself into the ground dreaming up ways to surprise and delight someone else. The enjoyment here isn’t as much “oh they’re gonna love me for this” as it is “oh, how enjoyable it will be to see them all giddy, happy, little-kid-at-christmas-light-up-with-pleasure”.

Now that I think about it, I guess I am that “weird” one who, seeing you cutting up or grinning like a fool or feeling all happy, gets all bubbly-happy myself (and believe me, there are no few accounts of folks catching me at it and thinking me very weird, indeed).

Mirror neurons? Meh. Whatever it is, I pretty much live for it (and yes, the opposite affects me much the same, which I don’t avoid, but I definitely live warily and do not permit a lot of exposure except in practice).

Mudita was a term I only encountered a few years ago; I had no concept of it “as such” before that and, frankly, it’s kind of nice to feel not quite so alien; after all, how alien can I really be if there’s an ancient word for it?

Anyway… the whirlwind of purchasing is complete and next comes the careful and equally enjoyable packaging for shipment. I like to really “doll up” the containing box (then put it in a very plain one so as to maximize the “ooooh!” factor for her).

(thoughtful look) You know, I wish I could make a living dreaming up amazing gifts and packaging for people. By all accounts, I’m damn good at it; and I’m not just talking about my daughter thinking so.

Ah well. Anyway, fun times. 🙂