autotelic, autistic, assonance-hole©.

GLOW S02E04 – Callback to truth

Episode available at:

I finally gave in and watched this show; stars, I’m so glad I did. It’s really nice to have the reality you hold reflected back to you, even if it is only on television. Somehow, just knowing it exists, even if you have only the anecdotes of others to prove it, helps. (Let’s face it, I’ve never been one for belief in authority; then again, no one in authority has ever believed in me, so there’s balance for ya.)

This guy did a fairly good job of his SEO and he’s not too shabby on the review/summary of the episode, either. That said, I’m not linking him to spoil the episode, rather, suggesting if you have any interest at all, save the article for after you’ve seen the episode, then enjoy.

For my part, I’m a big admirer of story that supplies manifold perspective and this series just gets that so right. But I’m especially called to this one for reasons that you’d have to be really out of touch with me not to know.

I often wonder what my life would have been had I been able to indulge even one of the fancies constantly taking flight in my mind. As always, the weight of effort around things like marketing and software development to execute just get in the way. Then, of course, there’s that whole reality thing:

  • we’re having to go deed-in-lieu of foreclosure because there’s a boundary issue that we were left “holding the bag” on that makes it unsellable without investment of money we just don’t have,
  • on my health front, the latest results indicate that, of all the things I may be doing in the near future, going back to work isn’t on the list, 
  • we’ll likely downsize from this 2/2 apartment to a studio at lease end because the loss of 97% of our earning power is just more than we’re able to recover from or mitigate,
  • we’ve already lost our credit entirely, which limits a lot of options but also empowers us to ensure all future effort is not subject to the entirely predatory policies of, well, everyone,

My stupendously amazing husband, J, had this incredible “perfect storm” of circumstances fall upon him like an existential anvil; his absolute grace under strain combined with his unending willingness to fall toward me rather than away just melts my being every time it happens, and it happens a LOT. 🙂

I’ve only ever counted three moments in my life as being truly transformative: 

  • The day we departed Creve Coeur, MO (synchronicity, you bastard!) for Atlanta, GA and I knew we didn’t have to be afraid anymore[1],
  • The day I gave birth to my son,
  • The day I gave birth to my daughter.

January 27th of 2010 is likely the penultimate fourth, since by definition, the fifth is that which happens to us all, literally. (The day J traveled 3,000+ miles to join me in making a life together. I know J thinks it should be our wedding anniversary, but I think the trip out here was, by far, the braver thing.)

I was watching this episode when all this occurred to me. So, of course, I put Netflix on pause and toddled on in here to dutifully lay the leaf in the page; waxing organically and pompously long on it. 

I just wish that everyone I loved could see this episode because it gets to that moment in each of us that causes the great, spiritual ‘gestalt’ – it’s an imponderable feeling, but believe me, you’ll know when you reach it.

For those who disbelieve me, watch it through and return another day when a time stamp code for the scene that inspired all this cascading of letters will be presented; then, we shall see how well my theories hold!

(Primary being an almost incomprehensible connectivity of all living things; microeconomics and their macro-relations are real, but the math isn’t there to “proof” them yet. TL;DR – you won’t need the time stamp code unless you’re avoiding the feeling that scene induces… which of course, is your prerogative entirely, so no judgment. We all do what we must until it becomes what we mustn’t.)


I love entendre
Especially semi-hid
Secrets in plain sight