autotelic, autistic, assonance-hole©.

hirsute mind

As usual, I know it’s a full moon without looking. Grumbly, irascible, with emotions straining at the proverbial leash and looking for a chance to snap it; ever-so-attentive for anything or anyone coming within reach. Hah.

Bay-ar-oooooooh, bay-bee; hirsutism of the mind. I’m tempted to run with it; get all down and dirty and grind out some ridiculous bit of fluff to render the feeling of this moment as best as managable. Then, I remember, it doesn’t really matter. I find it curious and fascinating and worth spending time on because it’s here and happening and all up in my grille snarling and slavering like it’s more than bubbling chemicals and a brainstorm of related neurochemistry.

I guess I just don’t take myself as seriously as I used to; imagine that. (chuckle)

Actually, I think I’d go a bit further and say that I am taking more than a few things a lot less seriously than I used to and you know? I’m kind of liking the feeling of not feeling obligated to feel. Far from apathetic, mind, but certainly neutral.

Detached from the river of ridiculouso running in my veins, I giggle from the sidelines of myself and point and say, “Would you look how silly? Isn’t it grand? Amusing?” Then, somewhat more sotto vox, “Whew, I sure am glad I don’t feel like I have to soak in that anymore.”

Of course, I am. Soaking in it, that is. But that’s supposed to be a secret, so shush!

moonlight mental meander
close to home rather than in far fields
kicking cerebral clods and chuckling
as they explode in effusive energy
sound and fury, signifying nothing
contrary confetti consideration
fluttering to stillness

i am reminded of the nomadic ones
all manic melodrama on street corners
between red lights, waving limbs,
needful of notice but never noticing
ridiculous fluff, theirs and yours
and mine

butterfly, bud, or breeze we are,
trembling with life, trying to decide
whether or not to sway or flap or fold
as if they are not the same… movement
the choices are a paradoxical thing;
perception of difference, the illusion
i laugh; my finger, pointing at the moon