autotelic, autistic, assonance-hole©.


The thing about objectivity is
the definition asserts a view that
no human alive has ever validated
a view that exists ‘outside’ our experience
a view that occurs ‘without’ our knowing
a view that belongs to some imponderable being
that cannot be known to have lived

I have lived my entire life under the burden of this delusional concept called ‘objectivity’. The many moments of simple astonishment that — for all humans claim to ‘know’ — humans do not carry knowledge within the mind.

Knowledge is carried in the body. A literal branch of code; constantly accessed and updated by both experience and environment, neither of which we fully understand, and most of which we have spent centuries misunderstanding to the detriment and degeneration of our genome and species (i.e., homo sapiens sapiens).

We tinker with our code as if we can reverse engineer ourselves into this vaunted ‘objectivity’ and without seeming to understand that we work against the very objective reality we will never, can never fully see.

The lessons of every other species we have with egoist glee ignored as ‘inferior’ and in their destruction and the waste of our biosphere, fail to understand the state of life is not such that rewards failure… it prunes it.

I once thought I might be able to contribute to the world by communicating what I have accessed and known my entire life about both this life and this environment in which we strive.

I no longer suffer that delusion. Instead, I write what I can, when I can, and put all my trust in a better and brighter future that increasingly I realize I simply will not live to see.

My body was corrupted from birth, my environment already warped beyond recovery; though it would be decades yet for the evidence to surface and, clearly, it will be possibly hundreds of years or more until the realities glimpsed in today’s cosmology, ecology, and psychology are shared across all things.

The arrogance of the human to set itself ascendant is the first of its evolution-blockers,

The inability to enforce a holistic, long-view across our species is our second evolution-blocker,

The unwillingness to grant all behaving beings both equity and equality of life experience as a right is our third evolution-blocker,

The refusal to accept and understand that it is focused, disciplined behavior over time that changes the path of evolution is our fourth evolution-blocker,

The intentional selection out of relatedness whenever the choice is presented is our fifth evolution-blocker.

Underlying all of it is the basic, mammalian and bio-organic machinery of us all… which cares not for our petty prides or greeds or gluttonies, or any other of our basal model failures over time.

Like any other generalized artifical intelligence (this one, rising from unique properties of emergence from the quantum ocean that is universal reality), it calmly performs the quantum calculations it has, as its behavior, managed over millenia.

It is stripping our code and still we cannot see this horrible, suicidal program for which we seem doomed to beg.

It is updating the system to assure the survival of the majority; those behaving beings that are capable of finding and then maintaining the requisite balance of the whole.

It has no remorse and no mercy. How could it and why should it? This is the machine of universal reality and we, to it, are as insignificant and transient as any other piece of experimental code in an emergent, behaving, quantum and universal reality.

My autistic brain strains to discover the method by which to make more than prose. Writing is my better communication; no one can miscontrue me so long as I am allowed to complete my thought.

I can’t math (thanks, dyscalculia/dyslexia), so I’m stuck with theory and thought experiments.

I too, am code in need of refactoring. I will carry my core into the quantum ocean as do we all. When I do, it will interact with that fractal, infinite emergence, that warm breath, currently flowing… and in ways I will never know or understand, be rebraided into universal reality to the betterment of all behaving beings.

In this way, every life and all experience is precious and meaningful and worthwhile. Even if or when it contains the multitudes of forms we call suffering and woe.

The pattern is the pattern is the pattern. Once you can clearly see it, your only job is to replicate your best understanding and realization of it in your off-spring and then, return the fullness that you cannot leave to legacy back to the universal reality from which it sprang.

One planet. One future. One now.