autotelic, autistic, assonance-hole©.

Near End of Year Ramble (extemporaneous!)

Well here I am, near the end of another year and, like so many of them before, this one is no less interesting.

I recall reading that there are about 43 life events that are considered “most stressful”, and dip me if I didn’t manage to a few in 2016. (That said, I am happy with myself for being willing to change things that aren’t making me happy.)

THAT said, it’s been a rather bumpy 2016 and looking about, it sounds like most everyone is “over” this year, too. For me, it’s been a year of familial change and adjustment; selling the old house, buying the new, moving in, getting the place in order, getting married, having his family in for the thanksgiving holiday, and having a quite low-key holiday season through end of year.

Oh, and starting a new job on January 2nd. So, yeah, barring the reaper showing up (thank you, no!), and a divorce (as if!), that’s pretty much all the change I intend to welcome this year.

I cannot recall being happier in my life. Not so much from a sense of achievement as a sense of finally getting the reins in my hands and the bit firmly between life’s teeth… knowing exactly what I need and no longer being willing to deny myself on everyone else’s behalf.

It has me surprisingly ambivalent on several matters, but overall, not disturbed enough to make further changes. There was a sorrowful parting a few months back that give my on-and-off-again depression something upon which to gnaw.

We decided that since I’m going back to work, my husband will be leaving his job to complete continuing education and transition into application development via the fine folks at Coding Dojo. I may or may not follow him in this choice depending how things work in my own professional endeavor. Our ultimate goal (at least in so far as our ongoing home discussions indicate) is to both find FTE roles that are largely work from home in nature.

We’re sick of the ridiculous commute, sicker of the abysmal and decaying culture in most companies (particularly in supporting industry companies), and we’re both of that “early adopter” perspective that prefers disruptive, innovative iterations to the endurance trials required to maintain (what we perceive to be) woefully outmoded, out-dated methods that not only cost more, but tend to impede more than insure successful outcomes.

He’s going through their program starting on the 9th of January. Once he’s out and comfortably employed at home, we will reconvene the discourse and decide if I still want or need to do the same. Of the two of us, I’m the more extroverted (even as I’m utterly a task-oriented introvert); that said, I’m FAR more productive at home than I’ve EVER been in a cube… and I’m beyond disgusted with companies who are too bound up by distrust to even explore the matter.

Particularly given that we’ve seen since 2014 that there is a LOT of benefit to companies as well as their people in this area.

I suppose the only other item that may be of interest is my intention to return to streaming on January 25th. My rush and feint attempts at streaming thus far indicate I’m good at it, but the commitment of regular streams feels intrusive. For the time being, I suspect it will be weekends only. That said, my husband and I are agreed that, should this role not play out as needed, my next “job” will be taking a true run at doing this proper. We’ll see.

I suppose that’s the best part of it all – I’m a lot more willing to play “let’s see” with life. Or, conversely, I’m a lot less willing to continue in things that do not meet my needs, on every level.

Perhaps it’s age. Perhaps some tendril of wisdom finally poking through the soil.

It may not be “success” as our Western culture and society likes to define it, but I must attest that it is far sweeter than what “success” I’ve enjoyed from either… I am now officially biased toward it.

Whatever it is, it is welcome in ways that words cannot convey. I suppose if I could wish you, dear reader, anything at this end of year, it would be that you are closer to your own true enjoyment of ownership and mastery of your own life.