autotelic, autistic, assonance-hole©.


He’s here. Arrived Thursday evening. Yesterday and today have passed in something of a blissful haze. I am, of course, chuckling at myself for the sheer, sappy happy of it all.

Boxes galore and half the dresser and closet set aside for him weeks ago, it has been happy making to see him unpacking and settling in… intermittent hand holding, backed into the wall kisses, high school googly eyed fuzzy fun of sharing.

Keys made, parking spot and in-building storage reserved for the things coming out of the front closet and second bedroom (turning it into a shared office), everything needed arranged today and the remainder of the weekend is the schlepping of “stuff” into new configurations.

Evenings have been peaceful and plentiful in their enjoyments. Late night whispering under shared covers of things to do together, whenever, and all of it in that tone of sage certainty that we’ll see them all holding hands and smiling for being able to squeeze fingers lightly, giggle without care for who may hear or see.

Plans for reinvigorating the kitchen; cooking rather than eating out. I never thought I would look forward to dirty dishes. Hah!

But I think the best part is that quiet space in the wee hours when, waking briefly, I find nestled warmth nearby and, turning into it, the drowsy murmur of acceptance followed by equally slow but certain embrace before curling in with contented sigh and drifting back into the dream lands.

He says it was an easy decision to make; he says that he has the sense that important life shifts are underway; he says that 3100 miles was a challenge less mighty than the wonder that the gaining of me grants.

I just smile, all words set to silence by a flush of soft enjoyment that is not as much that selfish feeling of needful nourishment as it is the sense that I am, for the first time in oh ever so long a time, utterly, wholly, and without exception, cherished.

It is a wonder to me. He is a wonder to me.

two paths, entwining
yours, mine, and ours, the mantra
discovering joy