cPTSD and me
Most people jump to the conclusion I had/have PTSD. In fact, I have cPTSD. For reference, all but seven years of my life are trauma, and I’m pretty sure the professionals would say I’m wrong about those seven years, too. This is what ‘toxic stress’ and ‘chronic pain’ and ‘persistent anxiety’ and ‘severe depression’ means… that’s what it IS. That’s also before you add on the every […]
For the record….
I am in pain every day, all day long. On a scale begininng at one (1) and continuing to ten (10), and inclusive of all current treatments, prescriptions, and future treatment plans as currently scheduled, my pain, every day is: never lower than a three (3) usually between four (4) and seven (7) depending on […]
Catharsis: Callsign Killswitch Echo Ethos
Today, my last fuck was given. I gave two hours of my life, all of my trust, and (almost) none of my masks to a neuropsychologist in hopes of finally getting a bias-free, judgment-free assessment and diagnosis. The result? Quoth the doctor: “The overall validity of her answers and responses are questionable. For example, she […]
Hystermony – The First
Today, I began a new journey to speak my story in one-hour video segments. While I will not edit/remove content, I will hand-edit these (i.e., post-production) for continuity as well as to demonstrate how even I can’t always remember it the same way each time I think of it. The point? Manifold, really; but instead […]
It is absurdly hilarious how unprepared I was for the reality that is aging as a woman in this country and this western culture. I was not unaware of it; but it was kept firmly in that cloaked corner of mind where all unavoidable realities are confined while we chase the things our culture, societies, […]
Why I write; for prosperity and posterity
I am convinced there is no such thing as an original, human thought; nor will there be until we literally evolve out of our own, biochemical, biosphere-embedded flesh. To be clear, I think that evolutionary process cannot be possible and that we remain “human”. It isn’t that I begrudge transcendence, I just recognize and admit […]
Personal Dignity: I will have it.
Shortly after my recent doctor’s appointment, I received a survey request about it. I was in the middle of requesting a correction to something inaccurately placed in my medical record as part of the doctor’s notes. As such, I wanted to give them the full time period they requested for processing and response – 48 […]
Thank you, Mr. Nimoy. Again. For Everything.
When I was a kid, everyone was excited and happy about going to the moon and how the future was going to be automatic joy and robotic service and intellect more powerful than our own, the inhuman intelligence of science and technology, were going to make our future perfect. I resist the temptation to whiplash […]