My two companions of 15 and 10 years, respectively, are both, over the course of the last month, now in possession of their rainbow tickets, which is an incredibly banal euphemism a la ‘crossing the rainbow bridge’. Dana is dying of gut-biome incompetency (stage three, eta two years). Daka is dying of chronic kidney disease […]
Donald Trump demonstrated on global and political stages alike that the corporate and executive perspective on law is not of one of inviolate directive, but merely of systemic rules to be gamed for profit. Also, that most of the right aisle on The Hill (and more on the left than there should be) largely feel […]
As I clearly am not going to be writing every day and as I also am not willing to give up on this place (again) and mothball it (again) only to stand it up next year under a new banner (again). This November edition is my marker in the field; of life, of myself, of […]
Thus is is known that humans are silly monkey minds:
Most people jump to the conclusion I had/have PTSD. In fact, I have cPTSD. For reference, all but seven years of my life are trauma, and I’m pretty sure the professionals would say I’m wrong about those seven years, too. This is what ‘toxic stress’ and ‘chronic pain’ and ‘persistent anxiety’ and ‘severe depression’ means… that’s what it IS. That’s also before you add on the every […]
I am in pain every day, all day long. On a scale begininng at one (1) and continuing to ten (10), and inclusive of all current treatments, prescriptions, and future treatment plans as currently scheduled, my pain, every day is: never lower than a three (3) usually between four (4) and seven (7) depending on […]
Just to be clear – neither am I. I’m a messy human, just like you. All of you. I share in your generalities, but am unique in my experiences and my expression thereof. Just like you. All of you. My unique experiences are neither inferior nor superior to yours. In that we are humans, they […]
Today, my last fuck was given. I gave two hours of my life, all of my trust, and (almost) none of my masks to a neuropsychologist in hopes of finally getting a bias-free, judgment-free assessment and diagnosis. The result? Quoth the doctor: “The overall validity of her answers and responses are questionable. For example, she […]
Today, I began a new journey to speak my story in one-hour video segments. While I will not edit/remove content, I will hand-edit these (i.e., post-production) for continuity as well as to demonstrate how even I can’t always remember it the same way each time I think of it. The point? Manifold, really; but instead […]
It is absurdly hilarious how unprepared I was for the reality that is aging as a woman in this country and this western culture. I was not unaware of it; but it was kept firmly in that cloaked corner of mind where all unavoidable realities are confined while we chase the things our culture, societies, […]