autotelic, autistic, assonance-hole©.


An unexpected strike
the mallet of memory
upon the gong of mind
resonating rippling remembrance
of you

all the mortar in the world
cannot block the occasional ray
peeking through ruined walls

clenching up, chattering teeth
i won’t do this again
i won’t do this again
i won’t do this again
damn it

sometimes i wish you were dead
so i could stop remembering how
it felt to believe in you how
it felt to bask in bliss how
accepted and understood
i felt

i have let all the others go
the great crowded theater, empty
remorse, refunded, and released

why will you not go away?

i am a ridiculous thing
a kicked puppy, hovering
behind a table leg
all shivery, wiggly watchful

hardest thing of all
to remind myself that
i ask the wrong question