autotelic, autistic, assonance-hole©.

The triangle of life

Life, I find, is a triangle of competing interests. There never quite seems a moment in which they are all in balance, and having any two wobbling at the same time is enough to discombobulate anyone. Three? Well, let’s just say I have experience with that and I am happy to report that those adventures are both (a) behind me and (b) not something I would care to repeat. Ever.

Of late, I’ve had a bit of juggling between two of the three; professional and home. The third, interpersonal, has been pleasantly tranquil and delightful for quite some time, which is lovely.

I am only thinking about it today because I recently made a deliberate choice to help stabilize something rather than shake it as badly as my frustration and annoyance tempt me. Funny thing about such decisions, they’re really very difficult to make right up to the point that you actually make them. Is that a silly thing to say? I suppose it might be, but I feel rather foolish about letting myself get this upset over it all when I just do not have to be; I do not have to let this mess have this level of power and effect. (Hard to remember sometimes, though, especially when there is a ding to the pride involved. ~wry grin~)

With the choice and decision made, regardless outcomes outside my control, I am as close to having this little triangle in balance as I’ve been in some time. On the one hand, it’s kind of exciting to see and on the other, it’s a bit terrifying because it always seems you only see that tremulous possibility of Isosceles perfection just before any two or (shudder) all three suddenly go flying in more directions than physics claims as possible.

Reckon that’s the true beauty of life, though, as odd as it may sound: You almost have to have those “800 mph in 42 different directions” moments to both feel alive and appreciate the moments in which you’re not having them.

So I think that, ultimately and despite all bumps, bruises, or the occasional spatter of blood that might make it seem otherwise, not only is it a damn good and mighty fine life overall, I am actually both abundantly content and ridiculously happy with Things As They Are; primarily because it’s a fact that the only thing that doesn’t change is that all things change (meaning any irksomeness in this moment will, eventually, be gone), but also because, on the infinite scale of pain, suffering, and misery in life, you could ball up every bit of what I’m feeling and thinking about the things I am less than pleased with and they still wouldn’t take up more space than a pixel or two. (Despite the fact that I use this many to convey it.)

Perspective. I don’t always keep it, but man, it sure is nice to find it again after a temporary loss. 🙂

Hope the week treats you well!