autotelic, autistic, assonance-hole©.

This hump (day) is breaking, I think

I believe that We The People are being played.

I believe that, around this globe, those in positions of leadership[1] and/or power know that there is but one thing to keep all of this speculative investment, revenue-hiding, debt kiting, usury-inciting, offshore-work exploiting, offshore-bank-account-infusing group of REPRESENTATIVES AND TRUSTEES proceeding (sometimes quite literally) full speed ahead:


I believe that many United States government representatives have so greatly abused their position and power that they, themselves, are at long last fearful of repercussion.

I believe that none of this is “conspiracy” so much as the infamous, ignoble, and illegal confluence of shared beliefs, etiquettes, and mores, none of which have any relation to the duty, task, and work for which they were placed into their current role… a collusion of the corrupted, who in seemingly complete confidence, finally stand before the mirror of public sight, naked as emperors, fecund, foul, but instantly recognizable to all who might try to put to word the sight.

I believe that many residing in our United States, officially and legally recognized or not, are now so greatly pressed to simply survive in this rapacious and predatory business and government culture that they too, at long last, become angry… are willing to speak aloud.

I believe we are watching this behemoth of shared secrets, this Rube Goldberg machine of agricultural, diplomatic, economic, military, supply power, etc. upon which the world balances………………………. teeter.

Teeter as in a dip so precipitously deep as to shake even the confidence of the powerful.

Teeter as if encountering something so completely horrifying that every possible shred of current interests were dropped like so much mud within the hands.

Teetering as if realizing some greater future, some event horizon within which we have struggled for time unknown, finally becoming visible.

Or, more simply: The power structure is at risk. Quick, start arguments!

How? Why? Pfft… as if I could possibly know. I just recognize the behaviors and expressions and dynamics. If I could truly tell someone how my mind works in a way to let them do what I do, don’t you think I’d be rich and on the seminar circuit right this minute?

I know what I know, and I know that I know nothing. I know that sounds like a paradox, and I’m OM with it. 

I know that if people can hear what I’m telling them, they’re already on the way and would have gotten there just fine (perhaps even better, faster, and with less scarring) without me. 

So why and how could I ever allow myself to do that? (Yes, I’ve chased the converse it’s entire length of consideration and yes, they really do wind up facing one another from opposing directions and I kind of think that’s weird and beautiful, so there). 

Anyway…. I figure you know when things are worse than you can ever, possibly even imagine just like you know it anywhere else you see it… 

If you’re terminally ill, it’s all the pseudo-happy around you and that the truth is still visible in the eyes of all involved.

If you’re despairing, it’s the realization that, at the end of the day, the only one who ever cares about you as much as you is, well, you.

If you’re about to lose everything, it’s the realization that you could have chosen differently and saved it all. That and the follow-up realization that the effort and energy and money spent getting to HERE/NOW so greatly exceeds the cost of that path untaken, that you cannot fathom lifting even your big toe. The drift into despair of life and the feeling of inability to retaining any meaning as a human being is real, I’m sad to say.

So I distract myself with noodling the fabric of ongoing analysis I do “for fun” in my head. And game. And talk to my cats. And send out resumes. And wish even one would not reject me in five minutes after applying. 

And then, wind up wishing they’d just reject me immediately so I would know not to hope (and learn not to care). 

See? Hypocrite. Totally ok with it. Owning it. Still trying. Getting better. Slowly. Never but slowly. Meh.

But seriously, if the United States were about to implode, and that implosion would be the equivalent of a large meteor striking a major population center on the planet to human culture, economy, thinking, and the manifold aspects of related being and inter-being, how hard do you think those aware of it would be scrabbling and trying anything and everything they could imagine, regardless how terrifying when said aloud to anyone NOT “committed to the great work”?[3]

(Truly regardless the matter of “why”; anyone reading this can instantly summon a list of at least ten things for “Possible Reasons The United States Finally Collapsed” – hit that contact button and let me know yours, eh?)

Strawman…. did we set you afire or did you thrown yourself in?

Do such things occur to ashes? Would anyone care if they did?

I believe that a deliberate backlash against Russia is being created as a profound distraction from the sobering reality of political and lobby corruption now on display in our country.

I believe that Russia is complicit and advances their own agenda while simultaneously reaping some unpublicized benefit[2] for effectively agreeing to “be the villain this season”.

I believe that the global support for an increase in war is present for reasons ranging from reduction of population (i.e., preservation of resources), to reduction of pressure to unify (i.e., maintain status quo), to reduction of risk of realizing many (any, if possible) negative outcomes of previously “outed” choices.

I believe that the leadership of this country have (albeit from essentially exclusive points of access to the “theater”) decided to support it because we’re JUST THAT CLOSE to the line (whatever you imagine being on any given line about which humans share survival or subsistence motivations).

Finally, I also believe that no decision, made in this atmosphere of distrust, destructiveness, and their many, dangerous dichotomies can possibly deliver positive results, let alone lasting ones.

This is the best possible time for caution, consideration, and conviction. Speak slowly, only after thought, and when you do, let the absence of emotion or upset convey the sober sincerity for those who have eyes and minds to see and understand it.

Stop making it about “Spock (ok, well, you get the idea)” versus “Pon Farr Spock“.

We’re all human together. Full stop.

The rest is easy… it’s that first axiom that’s hard.

Public discourse matters. Dissent matters. Discussion with the goal of understanding and finding common ground matters.

Pluarlism as a pure seed pattern[4] matters. 

I believe humans have evolved to their physiological limits and pushed our planetary sustainability limits to their edge for human life

I believe that we are at a very important decision gate. 

I believe the choices we make here, down to a one, down to you, oh precious, rare, and usually lurking reader, you…. matter.

I believe that “our highest potential” is the current chip in play.

I believe that it was placed by our ancestors, but that with our births came the birthright of making our own choices.

I believe I did the best I knew how to do at any given moment OR, I can look at that moment and tell anyone who cares to hear it how and why that wouldn’t be my choice today. 

I believe that my only real requisite to this life and world is that I am honest with myself about what is “my best” AND that, in any relation, attempt always to deliver it. 

I believe the only viable recourse when I cannot deliver it is to depart the circumstances as gracefully as possible (I am not graceful, alas).

I believe that none of the above things can possibly exist in the arid, smoky fields of scorched earth.

I believe that if scorched earth truly is the only path, I should be the first to embark upon it. Anything less is the ultimate hypocrisy. 

Therefore, let the proof of you be yourself, always.

Become civilian. Be civic. Do your best (you know what that is, regardless what you tell others).

Hold others accountable only as much as you hold yourself accountable; anything beyond that is part of the problem, not the solution.

Last but never least: You cannot wait for others to do it first. Someone always has to be the first. Being first is almost never fun. Be first whenever you can, but only because you want to help, never because you like the idea of being first.

Be ok with being hypocritical along the way. We all are until we actually learn and progress. It’s a process called life. Love life as if it matters and it will. (I am a hypocrite, faking it to try and figure out how to make it, so there’s that.)

We humans pride ourselves upon our ability to reason, to think, and to contemplate concepts and ideas outside the boundaries of our experiential norm.

Perhaps we should apply that skill and talent to this?

Perhaps this is a worthy cause?

I believe it is, but the simple truth is that I am no one. Unimportant.

But these are the things I think about and, to the best of my individual ability, I try to stretch to the highest and avoid tripping others when I’m clearly the lowest.

I will never truly manage it. I know few who do. But since that’s not the point, it’s ok.

What’s the point?

The intention and motivation is the only point.

The higher upon beneficence, the less potential for afflictive outcomes… or the best afflictive outcomes (driving lasting change).

It flies in the face of our humanity, our animal reality, that. But I believe it is truth.

But who am I and why should what I think matter to you? To anyone?

I’m doing me as best I can. I can only assume you’re doing the same. This is my way of giving you a smile, a thumb up, and encouragement.

We are all in this together. 


[1] – All leaders in any country active in the global economy, albeit at varying levels of control/power.

[2] – Let us not be foolish enough to believe that any such benefit will pass to the Russian people. Were that the case, the idealist in my heart would have to meditate for quite some time to discern if I would actually support it, too… in the name of a step away from Samsara.

[3] – I suppose this pattern could equally apply to any similar ‘pure seed’ pattern and the mutations are initially considered here to be infinite. I lack the “mathemagical” ability to do more than assert it. 

[4] – Remember to write about the ‘pure seed’ pattern. Eventually.